Former Arsenal defender Emmanuel Eboue admits the decline of his career forced him to lie to his children.
The 36-year-old admitted he had been driven to the brink of suicide due to his financial problems.
Eboue left Arsenal in 2011 for Galatasaray but sealed a return to English football with Sunderland five years later.
But he was released by the Black Cats a month later without playing a single game after he was handed a one-year ban for failing to pay a former agent.
Such was his shame, Eboue admits he was forced to lie to his kids about what he was doing with his time.
“The FA suspended me from any activity, I did not have the right to train with a club for a year. I was training with myself and I was ashamed,” he told RMC Sport.
“I used to train in the morning, but there were people who were training at that time and they came to take a picture.
“I then had to train at night, there was no light, but I could not stay at home.
“When I saw my children, they asked me when I was going back to the field, so when I went out in the morning, I pretended to go to work.
“I was staying outside and going home when my children were already in bed, I did not want them to ask me why they did not see me play. “
Eboue admits he is still forced to take anti-depressants as he continues his fight.
“Often, I would lock myself in my room for three or four days,” he added. “Even today, I take antidepressants.”